Dating

Someone has recently been telling me that I really need to get a girlfriend. He very kindly offered to help me out with this project, but I just wasn't ready. It didn't seem very manly getting a mate's direct help with this kind of thing. So, I decided to purchase a book called "Dating for Dummies: the ugly retards' guide to getting laid". I must say it has given me a whole new outlook on life in general, and women in particular. I wish I had that book with me now every time I went out. But, rule number one from the book is: Don't take this book out with you when trying to get lucky. Damn. So, I'm trying to memorise the important aspects of it, but it's not as easy as it sounds. Maybe I'm just thick. I got a neat little trick that helps me with it though. I put bookmarks in certain pages of the book, and write the main points down on there. Blue bookmarks for the tips for guys, pink bookmarks for the tips for girls. Hey, the bit for girls is really useful as well. It helps you think like a girl. And once you start thinking like a girl, there's nothing stopping you. I must make sure I don't try those lines on a guy again though. I just got a little confused. Too much ice cream straight to the system, gave me brain freeze. A neat cheap shot to take at a hot girl is to go up to her, pretend you're foreign (which I can quite easily do, being a bit ethnic), put on a heavy accent, ask her if she's English, and (here's the lady-killer) ask her "What is it called when man and woman get together....?" making the appropriate hands rubbing together gesture. It hasn't worked for me yet, but I should probably stop trying the European accents. No one's mistaking me for a Frenchman or a German anytime soon. Maybe an Indian accent. I've heard some women find that quite sexy.